compromise

The Lovers March to Eternity

There is so much fire burning within, smoldering wishes for love’s life to begin.

Life again as it was when I was young with our free hearts of passion entwining as one; experiencing the world joined together – souls lit with the promise of plenty forever – an imaginative history created before it begins, these are the things that young hearts believe in.

The embers lost daily to life’s routine this poem starts from loss, sorrow; misplaced dreams.

There is much to be said for the commitment and respect, for the sanctity of marriage so as not to regret, but if you find yourself lost then you must start again and remember what passions were in you as life began.

And then you have no choice for you must decide to take the path well worn and traveled or challenge the ride. I’m not sure what I have in me, the strength or the hope to make my dreams be in this swirling of smoke- it burns, burns my eyes, burdens my soul, weighs me down into restraining control.

I must find again the desire, the longing, the belief; passion and fortitude within me I seek, vulnerability held gently as I fight to hold on. I ask, dare I bask in the prosperous riches of risk -to begin again though I’m still lost in the mist.

Though the scars of careless openness still hang weary on my soul, I remain determined, steadfast and bold.

Still vigilantly marching upon the sublime dogged foes, the constant companions of the “average Joes”, they will have to be sacrificed for my love to be free, they will have to be sacrificed for me to be me.

I will find what I live for!  Valiant, golden and bright! … for I am, forever my Father’s delight.

And with His constant direction of warmth and hope, together my love and I will march to the end of the road; where I’ll look upon your face and thank Heaven above for His unending support of our perilous love.

charroseonline

Marriage, dating and the communication scale…

So when does a date begin and end?  That’s probably not such a difficult question if you’re single and dating – it ends when you say goodbye – evening or morning it doesn’t matter, at some point you say goodbye.  So much harder to pin down when you’re married.

I love to communicate but not just any kind of communication, I like to go deep – I can talk work and weather and can critique wine and beer or whiskey and just enjoy a good dinner but if I don’t get to communicate deeply with my dinner/drink partner (man or woman), it’s really going nowhere for me.

Frankly, these days sex as sport doesn’t hold much intrigue for me as I prefer a sensual lavish meander complete with “Your Body is a Wonderland” type of focused interaction, that being said, I don’t need to verbally communicate much if there is some sort of action involved …  football, darts, shooting pool, all of those things will entertain me enough to where speaking is not a necessity but that’s just a short term fun fix; at some point I need deep, meaningful communication.  Men, do you need that?  I really have no clue.

So the dilemma – what if you’re a talker, a go deep talker and you’re married to a not so deep talker.  It’s a challenge.

We went to dinner this evening, hubby’s idea and it was a welcome one as with the fires burning and my asthma I literally was stuck in the bedroom all day with the air filter running so I took a chance with the “carrot” of steak and a neat shot of Jack dangling before me.   It was too early for the bar to have any action and no football was on so hubby I got to talking and I was enjoying myself immensely but then we were done with dinner and done with the drinks and suddenly he’s ready to go; like the conversation didn’t hold the importance to him that it did to me,  and I have no idea whether it did or it didn’t – I didn’t ask but as this post indicates, the question is on my mind.

On the way home I had an asthma attack from the smoke so was more focussed on that when we first returned home and by the time I was done hacking up a lung, hubby was in PJs and watching Treehouse Masters.  Now there is nothing wrong with that, so I’m just exploring, learning out loud, there is nothing wrong with that, yet, I felt like I’d been dropped at the virtual doorstep without so much as a kiss goodbye.

This is marriage challenge that I need to explore – so when does a married date end?  And what is a marriage date?  I won’t tackle that tonight, I’m now hunkered upstairs again with the filter running and I’m watching my Criminal Minds as I type.

Communication is important to a relationship but it’s obvious that there are two ends to the spectrum and someday I’ll have to explore (meaning get up the courage to ask) where hubby lies on that scale – I don’t think it’s on the same end as I am.

Thank you, dear reader, for indulging me – please feel free to share your thoughts on the subject – I’d love to hear them!