It’s been a cluttery day, filled with work drama. I’m finally home snuggled into my nest on the couch, though not totally discombobulated, I needed the sit down. Watching CNN trying to get the day’s news; I guess some new Trump book dropped today, at least some commentary, enough to get everyone buzzing. I’m so anti-Trump so am fine with whatever take-down comes his way but on the heels of “real-life” drama, the news drama, the Trump drama is just too much today. We’re in a drama filled world, it wasn’t until I was chatting (long overdue chat) with may Dad (least drama person there is) that I got the name for all the exhaustion I’ve been feeling; it’s the overwhelmed drama everywhere exhaustion. Thankful to have a name to my nemesis, my daily nemesis. It occurs to me, as I discussed with my Dad that I must be some level of a drama person in that I’ve not left the dramatic work situation that’s dragged on for well over a year. I don’t like the drama and chaos but it occurs to me that a truly non- dramatic person would have just left long ago. Lessons I’m learning, maybe I need to be more vigilant in keeping outward drama whether work, relationships or TV news a little more at arms length.
My eyes are hardly open too tired to remain in the glaring light of day. They close the curtains, sleep to come soon as my fragile uncertain countenance treades upon its measured day.
I am not wanted, but do I want? Can there be one without the other? Desire, does it have even a flicker within me? Does this rendition of me even remember how to whisper what I long for? The words of longing, those earstwhile breaths of desire always dry brittle in my mouth.
I drift to sleep…what dreams may come sowing their feathery light seeds of longing and need. What day to wake to… What desires will precede me into the dawn’s newly minted morn? Reflection in the evening bears hope to a steadfast new day. It is here. So am I. I feel not wanted, do I want?
The morn broke early. The sky painted grey yet with hints of blossoming to come in the glorious light rays. As I hurry passed the mirror on my well worn morning jaunt I glimpse a shadowed echo of the essence of my being, afraid to be caught. Its existence reminds me of the exiled in my life, the ones in the shadows pushed to the sidelines forced by fears of potential strife. I am wanted, but do I want?
Never quite thought of this so literally before but there is great truth and tremendous value for me in this article, as even though I have a relentless pursuit within myself to improve, I often look for validation externally; this wonderful article, “You already have the answers: why you should ask yourself for advice” by Yvonne Doherty shared via @elitedaily reminds us that we likely already have our own answers if we just ask ourselves the questions.
Too funny not to share everywhere, so in case you haven’t seen it (which apparently in years passed, I have not); here’s a good laugh for you – I”m guilty of so many I hope I have FB friends come 11/18!
And historically, where it started with Jimmy, here! I’ve always loved William Shatner.
Well here it is almost 11:30 PM and I’m just now catching up on email, Facebook, Twitter and of course my blogs. You see after having almost a month off from work (as I was in between jobs) today marked a fresh start at a new company and with that jump back on to the merry-go-round comes long days and long commutes.
The day went well; the company is very nice and appears to be kind, fair and possibly even generous with its employees. I’m temping right now and they’re kind to me as well. And I’m paid more at this job than the last so I’m headed in the right direction. It’s all good with one exception.
The new love of my life, this new addiction to blogging, writing, learning about valuable content, networking, social media optimization and analytics will now have to take a backseat to the unfortunate reality of my day job. So moonlighting it is. Short post today. When I get back in the swing of things hopefully by God’s blessing I will keep this passion going.
I’m sure many of you can relate deeply to not having the opportunity to be able to make your first love your daily love so no better people to share with then my fellow bloggers.
Please feel free to share your stories or offer suggestions of how to squeeze in some writing in the middle of your work day!
Blessings to you all!
There is so much fire burning within, smoldering wishes for love’s life to begin.
Life again as it was when I was young with our free hearts of passion entwining as one; experiencing the world joined together – souls lit with the promise of plenty forever – an imaginative history created before it begins, these are the things that young hearts believe in.
The embers lost daily to life’s routine this poem starts from loss, sorrow; misplaced dreams.
There is much to be said for the commitment and respect, for the sanctity of marriage so as not to regret, but if you find yourself lost then you must start again and remember what passions were in you as life began.
And then you have no choice for you must decide to take the path well worn and traveled or challenge the ride. I’m not sure what I have in me, the strength or the hope to make my dreams be in this swirling of smoke- it burns, burns my eyes, burdens my soul, weighs me down into restraining control.
I must find again the desire, the longing, the belief; passion and fortitude within me I seek, vulnerability held gently as I fight to hold on. I ask, dare I bask in the prosperous riches of risk -to begin again though I’m still lost in the mist.
Though the scars of careless openness still hang weary on my soul, I remain determined, steadfast and bold.
Still vigilantly marching upon the sublime dogged foes, the constant companions of the “average Joes”, they will have to be sacrificed for my love to be free, they will have to be sacrificed for me to be me.
I will find what I live for! Valiant, golden and bright! … for I am, forever my Father’s delight.
And with His constant direction of warmth and hope, together my love and I will march to the end of the road; where I’ll look upon your face and thank Heaven above for His unending support of our perilous love.
So, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my share of them, maybe that’s why bloggers try to make a living blogging – to escape the corporate world of small cubicles, broken office equipment, office politics, confinement, that one weird employee and bad bosses.
I found two great articles in one day, actually less than 15 minutes apart…
is it “Bad Boss’s Day”? #horriblebosses2
Both of these are great articles..
The first by Amy Rees Anderson a contributor for @Forbes; her article is entitled, “How a Bad Boss Can Make You Sick” and it focusses on noticing the physical stress and health risks of the noted 77% of employees who experience physical symptoms from bad bosses. That’s staggeringly sad. Three (3) out of (4) employees report that their boss is the worst part of their job and they’d rather give up a raise for a new boss. I can relate and if interested, I’ve detailed some of my boss trauma below.
The second article is by Liz Ryan of @humanworkplace I just adore Liz, she has written so many amazing Human Resource articles that if you’re working in any corporate situation, I’d recommend you follow her or review her website (human workplace.com). Everything from “How to Fix Your Manager“ to articles for job seekers or anyone needing HR advice. And note in the article, “fixing your boss” is really more about “understanding your boss” and when it’s time to give grace or move on.
I have had bosses and work situations that literally made me so anxious I would panic on the drive in to work. Not even horrible things like discrimination, safety issues or sexual harassment; though when I was younger, much younger, before sexual harassment was a “thing”, I had a boss that told me my butt looked so good in my jeans (and he really thought that was a compliment) that he offered me up as payment to the UPS man; jokingly of course, but really? and though I was uncomfortable (I was like 19), I had no idea that was just wrong.
…and my worst case of sexual harrasement was when we had a new President for our company come in (and sorry, he looked like an old frog) and he, we gals sadly discovered, had a penchant for blatantly kissing the young office girls. I was able to steer clear of him for quite some time but then as a reward for a job well done (ugh), they promoted me to his Assistant and gave me a desk just outside his office, a desk I tried never to sit at. I made it a point to only deliver his mail, etc. when he wasn’t in the office, thinking that not being in his office with him would be my safest route. Well, I was wrong, it didn’t matter, during a meeting with another man present (of authority and who I thought was a nice guy) ole’ frog lips grabbed my face before I knew what was happening and planted a kiss on my lips – he was an old Italian fresh over from Italy, don’t know if maybe there they thought that was OK as he surely didn’t seem to realize this behavior was not OK. In any case, no one in authority (and many people knew of his constant and far reaching abuse) ever spoke a word about it. That was in the early 80s before it was really recognized or given much concern; and we girls were young and didn’t know how to respond or who to respond to when the authority folks already knew and didn’t do anything. In hindsight, I think they just wanted to keep their jobs. It’s funny, but it was only a few months ago in discussing this type of thing with a friend, that I realized I had been sexually harassed and a number of times long ago. Anyway, those are, though difficult, pretty clear cut cases that HR will handle for you.
The other kind of insidious negative boss behavior I think is almost worse because it’s just human behavior, just a boss who doesn’t care to be on his/her best behavior. Its that slow drip of disdain or disrespect that bosses can inflict upon their employees, that “kick the dog” behavior because the dog cannot fight back. Dare I say, I despise bosses that take advantage in any way of their authority over you, but I think most of them are just human and either untrained in management or just have low social IQs, which is the gist of Liz’s article. Bosses are human, they have frailties and insecurities and sometimes we unwittingly walk right into those.
The list could go on and on – so many uninformed, untrained, misguided, authority hungry, insecure bosses out there and we have to learn to deal with them, but there is also a time to move on. With all this negativity let me also share that I’ve had one boss in particular, who really sincerely walked the walk of a leader, he was my greatest joy and a wonderful mentor and we’re still FB friends – good ones are out there but can be hard to find.
Having said all that, I start a new job on Wednesday! Fingers crossed that this role of the dice brings me a seasoned veteran of socially savvy, ethical boss stock! Sadly, blogging will now have to be my “moonlighting” activity.
Some fun links below and if you’ve had some particularly interesting boss interactions, feel free to share them in the comments, I’d love to hear other’s survival techniques! 🙂
Horrible Bosses2 (link starts with a trailer, so speakers off if you’re at work!) hits theaters November 26th
and there is always this classic, one of my favorites, Office Space. (Speakers off if you’re at work!), naughty, naughty employee!
…who you gonna call, “Ghostbusters”!
Ghostbusters is a 1984 American science fantasy comedy film directed and produced by Ivan Reitman and written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. It stars Bill Murray, Aykroyd, and Ramis as three eccentric parapsychologists in New York City who start a ghost-catching business.
30 years ago (am I that old!) the Ghostbusters premiered. This day, November 5, 2014,
they reunited for an Entertainment Weekly Cover Shoot and a clip on the “Today” Show.
and if you need to relive the music made famous by Ray Parker, Jr., the You Tube Video is here!